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cold heart cold soul


Hello all, or anyone who feels like dropping by!

I do apologize for not posting in two months. If you'd like an explanation, here's the only one I can give. I've been having some troubles/ tough times, which I know we've all been having and is no excuse. My muse also suffered from a massive...slump isn't even close, is it?- meltdown?

Even now I don't feel as though I can write a full fic, so here's a little one, very fluffy and slightly creepy, inspired by the current prompt over at lost fic challenge, but I didn't think my writing is that good yet.


It doesn’t happen like in the films. She doesn’t run into his arms, where he stands on the beach, waiting for her. There’s some anger there, some pain, and some joy. There are questions left unasked and posed. She can’t trust herself (and neither can he) that this is real. She’s dreamed it too many times.


He has to hold her tighter, his face buried in her shoulder, and he smells her. He feels the touch of her arms on his skin. He has to touch her stomach to imagine a child that is part him and part her. Has to kiss her lips to feel their touch again.


And all of it feels like he’s coming back up for air after drowning.

And all of it feels like she’s coming home from a long journey.


And she knows she was right to return.

And although his heart burns and his mind is screaming down curses he doesn’t know the syllables to utter…he is happy. Joyous.


~        ~       ~


“Tell me about her,” he says.


And she does. She tells him of Ji Yeon’s hair, silky black and smooth. She tells him about the way she brushes it back from her head and into a ponytail and braid. Ji Yeon has his voice in a way, quiet when happy, rougher when sad, angry or jealous. And Sun tells her husband about what it was like to see their child grow older.


The parts she saw at least.


But Jin is happy with the story, excited even joyous. He talks about meeting her, and his face breaks out into a smile she has not seen since their wedding day. Jin says he loves her, and kisses her mouth, her hand, her neck.




It’s such a simple word but means so much when it’s truly meant and truly felt.


Happiness like this should not be possible on this island.


~           ~        ~


It takes a miracle. A miracle that becomes twisted into a nightmare with another plane crash, another disappearance. Was this supposed to happen? Neither of them truly cares. It was a risk, yes, a gamble and a test of fate. But the other plane crashed, and their daughter survived.


Was it supposed to happen? Was it fate?

What is their role? Do they feel guilt? Pain?

They are the new Others now. Camping out at the old Barracks, learning the secrets from Ben and Richard. Surviving. And yes, there is still guilt and there is still fear. Each one images a place far away at night. Bright lights of even bigger cities; soft sounds from farms or parks; suburban streets that feel like extensions of a family, like an extension of a body.


Here, though, things are not so bad. Jin and Sun have their daughter, and simply say this when asked: “We are happy.”


Jin gets to read to his daughter in Korean. In English. He holds her on his lap and they sound out the English words together, he helps her with Koran. He teaches her how to run, how to swim in the ocean that runs in to meet the sky. At night, Sun cooks dinner and they eat as a family. They have family jokes and games they play with the other families, the other friends at night.


A test of fate, perhaps. Cruelty, maybe.


But Jin and Sun feel almost perversely joyous in this place, in this time, with their daughter and with these people who have become their friends. Their family.


~       ~         ~


When she is old enough and when it is safe, Ji Yeon leaves the island. She sees the world in it’s entire. She studies at universities and at colleges across the globe, recording it all for the day, eventually, she will return home.


In one particular bar, at one particular night she meets a particular boy named Aaron.


~     ~     ~


And somewhere there's a cause and event happening-  maybe due to  fate, or to  God, or  maybe it’s sheer dumb luck or the lack thereof.


But when Ji Yeon kisses Aaron at the beach in front of their homes, she knows what joy feels like.


And it feels like coming home after a long journey.



Welcome back! I was just thinking of you. I'm sorry to hear you've had a rough time. I hope things get better soon.

You should post this fic elsewhere. It is a real sweet tale and that opening scene with the reunion was done so well.
Thanks hon! And I'm sure things will get better, I'm trying to go by days.

Thanks for reading it. I may do some editing but I'm glad the first part worked.

It is nice to be back and know everyone is doing well!
Hey, I'm so terribly sorry for not catching up with you in a while
[tight hug] I know how it feels to go through a tough time & not being able to write, well that just makes you feel worse about yourself, doesn't it?
But I really liked this fic, very sweet & I loved Ji hooking up with Aaron, so very cute
down the rabbit hole

February 2009

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